Unforgettable: From the Oscars Red Carpet

The biggest film awards show on the planet is a few days away, and I'm more excited about who wears what, rather than who wins what. Its great fun to check out the showstoppers, the showfloppers and the in-betweens ...... even my always-been-a-tomboy-don't-care-about-fashion lil sister enjoys commenting on the stars' attire!

But then barely a couple of days later, we've forgotten all about those dresses and moved on to the next big event. However, in the past two years at the Oscars, there have been two gowns that I have not forgotten. Or more accurately, not forgotten because of who was wearing them.

I haven't seen any of Helen Mirren's movies (except for Raising Helen and National Treasure 2, which don't count since she had minor roles in both), and am not really sure if I want to see The Queen, for which she won Best Actress at the 2007 Oscars. In fact, I hadn't even heard of her before she was nominated. But one look at her on the red carpet that evening and she made a lasting impression.

Here's Helen Mirren again at the 2008 Oscars.

I was completely speechless when I saw her ..... isn't she just stunning for someone in her 60s??? Sexy and classy, I felt she was the best-dressed lady at both events, totally outshining the younger lot.

I'm largely clueless about the fashion world, unlike my friend Deeplydip, so I have no idea who the designers are, or who supplied the accessories. I just know that despite seeing so many red carpet shows since that time, and forgetting still many more outfits, I still vividly recall Helen Mirren dazzling the eye in these two gowns.

And as so many female commentators noted at the time, I too hope I look that good when I grow up! Or even half as good!!!

Revealed: 25 Things About Me!

For a communications class in college, we were asked to first talk about someone we loved for 5 minutes. Everybody managed it easily, going and on and on about whoever they chose. Then, we were asked to talk about ourselves for 5 minutes, and all of us were stumped after 1 minute. There were a lot of ummms and aaahs and other noises as we struggled to come up with things to talk about.

Point of the exercise: to realise that its very difficult for most people to just talk about themselves.

This incident came back to me as I was doing this "25 Things About You" tag passed on by Goofy Mumma a while ago (thanks again, GM :D). I love tags, and normally I come back with answers straight away, but that's the thing ...... you have to have questions first. This business of randomly talking about yourself is really hard! I've been thinking over this for 5 days now, eagerly jotting down things as they struck me, and finally, its done!

So, the rules:

Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

And now, about me:

1. I'm a chocoholic.
2. I have a valid driver's license, but don't know to drive ....... yes, this happens only in India!!!
3. I have conversations with myself within my head, because if I talked to myself out loud, people might think I'm crazy :P
4. In school, I spent a week sitting in the corridor outside class with a bunch of friends - we'd been punished for talking too much and this is the one school achievement I'm proudest of!
5. I'm not at all an athletic person, I suck at most sports and games.
6. I started talking before the age of 1 and according to one relative, I haven't shut up since!!!
7. I LOVE junk jewellery.
8. I hate rainy, cloudy, gloomy weather, though I do enjoy a good thunder & lightning storm, but only if I'm indoors.
9. Most people's first impression of me is that I'm serious, studious and reserved ...... hee, hee, hee!!!
10. My favourite form of exercise is walking, but I don't care for treadmills and gyms; if I have the choice, I'd rather walk out in the open.
11. I would love to learn to play the guitar someday.
12. I love applying mehendi. As a child, I was so dedicated to getting the darkest colour possible, I'd keep it on all night and to avoid it falling off or staining the pillows, I slept with my hennaed hand wrapped in plastic!
13. I am immensely intrigued by the great civilizations and mysteries of the past; I love books and films based on these themes, and ......
14. ....... the one book I found absolutely un-put-downable was The DaVinci Code - I bunked college one day so I could read it at a stretch.
15. I am a total wimp when it comes to amusement park rides; even the minor ones leave me with such head-spinning, tummy-churning nausea that there's nothing amusing about it, but .....
16. ..... I have para-sailed!!! The initial lift-off makes you feel like your stomach will fall out, but after that its just awesome!!!
17. I had tears in my eyes when I finished reading the Deathly Hallows the first time!
18. I've always felt that there is an actress suppressed in me. Am I talking heroine material? Hell, no!!! I'd love comic roles; people like Whoopi Goldberg, Paresh Rawal, Rajpal Yadav and Philomena (of Malayalam cinema) are my idols :D :D
19. I cannot endure horror films.
20. At some point in my teens, I realised that I could either have food or have a figure. I chose food!!!
21. I am not the impulsive, risk-taking type; I not only look before I leap, I conduct in-depth analyses!
22. I started watching football in the 12th standard only because of a massive crush on Luis Figo, and then got swept away in the frenzy of the game itself. I still don't know most of the rules, but will religiously watch most major international football events.
23. The only person in the whole, wide world who can send me from the calmest, most cheerful of moods straight into a raging temper in 5 minutes, is my beloved sister :D
24. The one, all-important motto I try to live by is "Love one another as you love yourself".
25. At looonng last, the 25th item!!! And that is ....... I turn 25 this month!

And now, about passing this on. I want to know more about Agnes, Amrita, Moi, My Space, Renu and Smriti.

The Weight of Happiness

Written last week, posted today thanks to the ever-unreliable services of BSNL.
------------------------

I suppose most women tend to be at their slimmest best for their weddings.

Not me.

I'd finished my dissertation - nearly a year's worth of sitting in front of the computer, my mind at work 24x7, constantly needing food-fuelling to maintain my momentum. After that, I landed a job with a 10-hour workday, again pretty much seated at a desk the whole time. Somewhere along the line, I met the man I would marry and due to various practicalities and constraints, our wedding date was fixed a scant three months later.

November was my last month at work, as I'd wanted to spend a month's quality time with my family. However, that month also brings Christmas along, highlighted by my mom's superb cooking and Christmas cakes and goodies. So even though I tried to compensate by going for walks regularly, the ultimate result was still that, at the time of my wedding, I was the plumpest (objectively, I still wouldn't say 'fattest'!) I'd ever been in my life. That's how my in-laws and the rest of hubby's huge extended family saw me for the first time, and by Kerala standards where big is beautiful, I was alright!

A few days later, after all the festivities were completed and it was just hubby & me here in Bangalore, I assumed the responsibilities of a homemaker and life settled into a happy routine.

Cut to May 2008.

My mom and her mom were coming for a week-long visit. At the airport, I rushed forward eagerly once I spotted mom, and the first thing she said as she hugged me was, "Baby, you've lost so much weight!"

"Huh", I said. "Really? Oh, I hadn't noticed."

And as strange as it may seem, I truly hadn't. It was only after my mother, who's seen me all through these years, told me that I'd lost weight, did I realise that I'd finally achieved a goal I'd been pursuing (albeit not very determinedly!) since the age of 16. Only after she told it to me, did I realise that my pants & jeans were slipping down my waist, certain loose-fitting tops and kurtis hung limply on me, and t-shirts that once had me sucking my tummy in, now fit smoothly and without any added effort from me :D

I was thrilled!!! I was beyond thrilled, I was ecstatic!!! I had finally, FINALLY done it, though unintentionally. How??? I kept asking myself. I walked regularly and played table tennis with hubby a few times a week, but surely that couldn't compare to say, the two month aerobics classes, or the three-month intense gym workouts that I'd once done (neither of which resulted in any significant weight loss).

Nor was I dieting - for a foodie like me, whose entire set of 32 teeth are really sweet, 'diet' is a bad, bad word. Some might think I was stressed out, or moping coz I was away from my family for the first time, but no, that wasn't it; I was happily married, blissfully thankful for the life I had and anyway, when I'm stressed, I pig out.

So how then? Observing my lifestyle, mom said it was simply that I was active throughout the day ..... I wasn't sitting at a desk for hours together, I was constantly moving about, cooking or puttering around the house, and that, she said, was making the real difference, of course, supplemented by the walks and table tennis.

And I was thrilled!!! I was beyond thrilled, I was ecstatic!!! Did I write this before??? Hell, yes, but I don't care because that's how ecstatic I am!!!

BUT.......

I was in the minority, the very small minority of people who were thrilled. On subsequent trips to hubby's hometown, everybody's first comment was how much weight I had lost, and all conversation would revolve around that for the next few minutes. Initially, hubby's parents kept berating him, that he wasn't taking enough care of me etc etc, till I sat his mom down, and clearly explained the above saga to her. She was sort of convinced then, but how do you explain it to scores of neighbours, friends and relatives, all firmly conditioned to think that a new bride losing weight like this surely means problems in the marriage?

And if I thought that it was only in Kerala that my weight would be an issue, man, was I in for a rethink! Friends and relatives in the UAE and more recently in Bombay were flabbergasted! Most people found it incredibly difficult to get over. Some of my more outspoken buddies exclaimed outright: "She's not happy!" with a sort of perverse glee (hmmm, I should seriously reconsider these friendships!)

Even after the initial few minutes of explanations, when the conversations were like an hour old, I would get quiet, serious-faced questions: "You're sure you're ok, na?", "There are no problems with your husband, right?" And so on and so forth.

Only four people in Bombay, seemed genuinely delighted by the slimmer me and told me that I looked great. Only one college friend disagreed with the rest, and said of course she's happy, look at her smile, she's glowing from within!

Obviously, I did expect reactions to my weight loss, but somehow I’d naively assumed that my friends would be happy for me. I certainly didn’t expect everyone’s parting comments as they hugged me goodbye to be along the lines of “Next time we see you, you should’ve put on some weight”. What the hell??!!

Even though I’ve lost weight, I still cannot be considered thin, nor do I ever want to ..... I rather like my curves :) And its not that I’m looking hollowed out or miserable; hubby & my family are my most brutally honest critics and they’re totally ok with my appearance. Most importantly, I am totally ok with it!!!

Honestly, I don’t expect this phase to last very long, I know that eventually I will gain more weight and I’m totally ok with that too. But still, it feels fantastic that at least for once in my life, I produced some head-turning, eye-popping, jaw-dropping reactions!!!

And I am thrilled!!! I am beyond thrilled, I am ecstatic!!!

In case you were wondering what the fuss is all about, I lost 9 kilos last year!

Back from the Break!

I'll be the first to say that I've been a sloppy blogger lately. Three weeks since my last post, and not for a lack of things to write about. Much has happened, and I guess I've just been sorting my thoughts out.

My family had come down to India for a couple of weeks. We spent the first week at home in Bombay, a continuous bustle of activity, first in getting the house cleaned up (and then making sure it remained that way through the rest of the stay!), then in meeting relatives and old friends, squeezing in the all-important shopping whenever we could, and sometimes, just taking a breather and chilling out at home, enjoying each other's company again :)

We each rummaged through our cupboards and cabinets, going over stuff that we'd deemed to have too much sentimental value to throw out; wiped off the dust that had covered them during the past year, and then returned them to their places ..... to gather more dust during 2009!

I pulled out our old photo album collection, and we pored over the memories. My sis & I shuddered over some truly disastrous and censorable childhood pictures of the two of us and I fortunately managed to sneak them out; it was sis's job to hide them in a place where our doting parents wouldn't find them and be tempted to show them around {shudder, shudder}.

That week passed by all too quickly and before we knew it, it was bye-bye Bombay and Hello Bangalore. The new, sparklingly spacious airport at Bangalore seriously impressed the family, coming as we were, from the depressing dullness of the Bombay domestic terminal (they told me the international airport had deteriorated still further ..... sigh!)

I had braced them for the long drive home, given that we live quite far from the new airport and we'd arrived during the evening rush hour. But surprisingly, it took only two hours to reach home (I had expected three!).

Hubby had neatened and tidied up our apartment for his in-laws, and my family were quite impressed with all the decor improvements we'd made to the place. It was also my sister's first visit to our home and I was especially thrilled that she liked it. Of course, that delight may have just been for our TV, considering that a TV junkie like herself had just spent a week in Bombay without one!

We ended up spending most of our time relaxing at home, save for a couple of shopping trips, and the only sights seen were the mass of shops and humanity on Brigade Road. My sister discovered the game of squash at our clubhouse, and in the process, discovered the pitiful state of her fitness! A more shocking revelation was my dad's state of fitness: far, far superior than any of us had given him credit for, as he proceeded to run sis ragged almost every morning of their stay!

The highlight of the visit, and indeed, the reason for it, was (ahem!) our first anniversary. Yup, last week, hubby & I completed one year of married life. It was a quiet celebration ..... well, except for the balloons bursting!

Hubby's bro and sis-in-law joined us in the evening and we had dinner at Ebony, one of our favourite restaurants, located on the 13th floor of a building on M.G. Road. We sat on the balcony, enjoying a fine meal with a finer view of Bangalore at night down below us. The ladies were all suitably cloaked and jacketed against the chill breeze, but the men? Well, the men were men, and so manfully insisted they weren't cold. Right!

A couple of days later, the folks headed back (sigh!) But this is the optimistic me, so I'm glad for whatever time we got together and already looking forward to the next visit :)

Sweet & Sour Sauce

Over the past year, I have discovered that the passion for cooking that runs in the veins of most of my family, surprisingly flows in mine too. I find the whole process extremely enjoyable, especially when it involves dishes off the typical home-cooking menu.

I follow in the footsteps of my mother, who believes that once you get the hang of cooking, you should feel free to experiment. She's the type of cook who feels that rigidly sticking to recipes and measurements takes all the fun out of cooking. Of course, if you're not careful, what should've been delicious can easily turn disastrous (as we've both found out!)

But nonetheless, experimenting with food is still real fun, and what I like best are dishes that are simple, scrumptious and can be tweaked to suit individual tastes. I had posted one such recipe earlier, and here's another one:

Sweet & Sour Sauce
Inspired by Kylie Kwong.

Ingredients:
1/2 inch piece of ginger
3-4 cloves of garlic
1 piece of jaggery (or a tablespoon of brown sugar, white will also do)
1 chilli - deseeded if you don't want it too hot (red chillies are better visually)
2 tbsp chopped spring onions (regular ones could work too)
1 tbsp chopped coriander
1 tbsp soy sauces (either dark or light or ideally a mix of both: dark for colour & light for flavour) 1 tbsp vinegar (I use apple cider vinegar)
Juice of 1 lemon
1 tbsp oil (olive, peanut or sesame preferably)
Dash of any other related sauces that you may have at home: eg - fish sauce, oyster sauce, Worcestershire sauce.
Stock (veg or non-veg) to increase quantity.
(I don't use salt because the soy and other sauces are salty enough; however this depends on your taste)

Method:
1. Mince the ginger, garlic, chilli and jaggery finely.
2. Mix all the ingredients together, except the oil.
3. Heat the oil separately and when hot (smoking hot according to Kylie Kwong, but not really necessary), pour over the sauce ..... it'll sizzle and crackle deliciously!

You can serve this sauce with steamed white meat or fish (chicken in the picture), or with momos or with pretty much anything you fancy. For a vegetarian version, simply omit the fish and oyster sauces.

What I love about this sauce is that you can't really go wrong making it. Just keep tasting as you go along till you get it the way you like. Also, these measurements aren't written in stone; you can easily add more or less of the ingredients according to your taste. You don't even need every one of them: the essentials are jaggery for the sweetness and soy for the saltiness, and ginger and garlic. The rest of what goes in is limited only by your imagination!

New Year, New Attitude

At the Christmas Mass I attended this year, or rather, last year, the sermon was delivered by a visiting priest from Indonesia. He introduced himself, very humbly, as a "baby priest" and wanted to give a sermon that was "short, but meaningful".

He began with a story from his village back home, where many people raised cows for a living. During summers, the grazing grass would turn unappetizingly dry and seeing this, the cows wouldn't feed. The people therefore developed an amusingly ingenious solution: they made green spectacles and placed them over the cows' eyes! The cows' world, especially the grass, then seemed invitingly green and fresh, and they would continue to feed as usual. The reality, the priest said, was dry grass, but with the green spectacles, the people (and the cows!) found a way to deal with it.

The priest then said that compared to his past visits to India, he'd observed something different this time: that the people seemed to be less enthusiastic about Christmas, that the spirit of the festival was somewhat subdued here. He agreed that it was only natural, given the attacks against Christians in many parts of the country, and the terrorist strike in Bombay. But Christmas, he said, is at its heart, a festival of hope and joy, that God loved the world so much that He sent His Son to live as a human.

The priest concluded by saying that we should not get so overwhelmed by the negativity in our world that we completely forget the positives; the reality of our world undeniably has a lot that's wrong, but by putting on 'spectacles' of optimism and hope, we can find a way to deal with the problems our societies face.

For me, this was a very fitting and much-needed Christmas message, something that I want to take along into the new year too. With all that goes on around us, I think its easy to become depressed and/or cynical ...... but that's NOT how I want to live. I want to be optimistic, I want to feel hopeful and joyful.

I don't mean that I'll be skipping along merrily, believing problems will just disappear on their own, but in the sense that I won't let those problems keep me down and keep me from doing my duty. I won't forget that though there is a lot that's regrettable in our world, there is a lot to be thankful for as well .......

...... (and now, very strangely, the songs running through my head are a mix of Gloria Gaynor's I Will Survive and Chumbawamba's Tubthumping!!!) Must be the lack of sleep ...... we brought in the new year the way I like it best - attended Mass and then had a not-so-quiet dinner with family.

Here's wishing you all a TERRIFIC NEW YEAR - Keep the optimism, keep the faith!

Christmas Wishes!!!

So I'm sitting here right now with a slight backache, but I don't care coz I got it in a great way ...... we've been desperately decking up my in-laws place!!! I'm just thrilled I got to decorate more than one house this year.

And I'm absolutely over-the-moon THRILLED about my hair!!!! My sometimes-curly, sometimes-wavy, always-frizzy mane has been ironed into submission and is now swinging straight and shiny!!!

(I know its only going to last till the next wash, but oh, its such a treat for me!!!!)

That's all the time I have for this post ..... so here's wishing everyone who reads this a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

The Tricky Picture Tag

I've been tagged by A (thank you!!!) Its another Q & A style tag, but with a photographic twist!!! The rule is that for every answer you have to do a Google image search and pick a picture on the first page with minimal explanation.

I'd seen this on a few blogs and it seemed quite tricky. It is, but its also a lot of fun to see what images turn up and these are what I got:

1. The age you will be on your next birthday: a quarter of a century!

2. A place you’d like to travel to: (so many, where do I begin???) Top destinations though: Italy and Ireland.

3. Your Favorite place: where the heart is!!!

4. Your favorite food/drink: CHOCOLATE all the way!!!

5. Your favorite pet: No pets allowed!!! (Don't mind them in the zoos or in the wild, but definitely no animals at home)

6. Your favorite color combination: Red and gold ...... like a red moonrise :)

7. Your favorite piece of clothing: Hardly wear them, but I love saris.

8. Your all time favorite song: (again, so many, where do I begin???) Everything I do I do it for you - Bryan Adams.

9. Your favorite TV show: Comedy - Friends; Drama - Lost.

10. Full name of your significant other: My beloved recluse would throttle me if I revealed this!

(Oh my God!!! I know the rules said 'minimal explanation', but how freaky is this???? Viggo Mortensen in the classic LOTR avatar was right there on the first page of results!!!! I think maybe it was the word 'recluse' that did it.......his character is mostly a loner initially. Damn, now I'm just dying to watch all three movies again, but the DVDs are with my sister :( )

11. The town in which you live in: Namma Bengaluru.

12. Your screen name/nickname: Shalom :)

13. Your first job: PR executive.

14. Your Dream Job: an artist - clicking photographs, painting and selling fabrics / glass / wood etc and maker of miscellaneous knick-knacks.

15: Bad Habit you have: Procrastination.

16. Your worst fear: Falling down stairs!!!

17. The one thing you’ll like to do before you die: See as much of this beautiful world as possible.

18. The first thing you’ll buy if you get $1,000,000: A world tour for the family!!!

Ok, so that's me done! I am now going to complicate life for Amrita and Smriti :D

Hope to see this one up soon (well, reasonably soon!!! :P)

Back in the Saddle!

What an incredibly busy weekend its been! But in the happiest way possible!!!

I had been looking forward so eagerly to this Christmas, but recent events had considerably crushed that Christmas spirit and try as I might, I just couldn't make myself feel that bubbly joy I usually carry around this time of year.

But once I was past that initial gloom, I realised again how special this Christmas is: its our first together, in our first home. And then I was determined to do my best to make it a good one.

First, we (or rather I!) wrote out our Christmas cards. I have always loved the whole process of buying/making cards, bringing out the glittering ink pens to write out people's names and even sticking stamps on the envelopes! Although if I'd mentioned that last part to hubby, I'm sure he'd have insisted I go to the post office too!

Second, we put up our tree and started decorating it, carols playing in the background (with the occassional rock song in between ...... hubby was the DJ after all :-D). I happily started hanging up ornaments and draping ropes of bells and tinsel all around, and then hubby came in with the lights. Lessons learnt: always, always put the lights in first!

I wanted some of the lights placed inside, closer to the trunk, and those wires got tangled with the tinsel and blocked the ornaments till we had one twisted mess, so ultimately we had to take everything off and start all over again. But even when it was done, I couldn't help going back and adjusting some of the ornaments, redraping the tinsel, and the image in my head, strangely, is that of the mother of a bride - fussing away till the beloved daughter looks just so!!!

Then we moved on to our wreath and some other little bits and bobs. Hubby wanted to get a hook from which to hang our wreath because its a bit heavy, but I felt that just tape would do, and after much, umm, discussing and debating, we went with my solution.

Somehow, over the past few months, we've ended up with a selection of tapes that would rival that of any stationery store: so we have double-sided tape, clear double-sided tape, heavy duty mounting double sided tape, duct tape and the regular old Scotch cellotape. Using a complex combination of these, hubby at last got our wreath fixed firm (I hope!)

We finished up with the rest of the stuff that needed to be stuck, and then, in the middle of the mess that was our living room, we stood arm in arm, grinning ear to ear, surveying our handiwork, finally feeling Christmassy!!!

Now carrying that optimism on to Phase 2. In case you wondered what the title of this post means, well, I'm absolutely determined to make some sweets for Christmas and I plan to start the first one - coconut burfi - today. This time around, I will make sure I have a lot of time, I will measure my ingredients correctly (and then stick to them!), and I will definitely, totally follow the instructions to the letter ....... (deep, calming breaths) ......

Reminiscing.....

Close to a couple of years ago (can't believe its been that long!!!), I was up on the online matrimonial mart. I alternated between anger and amusement at the proposals that were coming in, and I so desperately needed to vent that I even started up a separate blog for the purpose (taken offline now as its no longer relevant :))

A few days after my first post, I received a comment from a stranger ...... well, not a complete stranger, as I later found out. Preethi arrived at my blog through our mutual friend Thought Warp (who is incidentally the person who persuaded me to start blogging, by the way). Preethi gave me some very sound advice (thanks again!!!), and naturally I then went on to check out her blog and eventually became a regular reader.

While scrolling through her comments form after one fine post, a comment by another blogger caught my eye, and so I went to check out her blog. I instantly felt a connection with Reflections because she's a Potter-maniac like me (the first post I read over there was about the incredibly brilliant JK Rowling). And like most people, after a few of her posts, I couldn't help but become a regular reader there too.

Through Reflections, I found Renu and ISH. Renu's blog is a very comforting place for me ...... something about the way she writes reminds me of my mother and home. And about ISH, man, I wish I could write with as much spunk and punch as she does!!!

I was curious about another blogger whose comments I'd seen on these three ladies' blogs. The name Deeplydip intrigued me, and when I checked out her blogs I again liked what I saw. Styalogue is such a cool platform for sharing thoughts on fashion!!! It feels great to read and share thoughts on style, and it reminds me of all the fun times with my gal pals :D

Another fashionista I really admire is Agnes. This lady is all about effortless style, and so much more. The work she and her husband do is truly worth commending, so all the very best to you guys!!!

You might ask, what brought on this wave of flashbacks?

Well, yesterday a new friend - A - sent me some sunshine with The Proximidade Scroll Award. It meant a lot, considering what the award is for:

This award is given to a blog that invests and believes in PROXIMITY – nearness in space, time and relationships! These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers!

Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award

I have always loved writing. Even as a schoolkid, writing never fazed me the way it did a lot of my classmates. Because I loved reading too, writing seemed to me to be a wonderful way of self-expression. So you would think that when the blogging phenomenon took off, I'd have immediately joined in. I didn't.

Because somewhere over the years, I started struggling with the words. I had to do a lot of writing for my studies; project reports and things like that were easy. And so Thought Warp was after me for a long time to start a blog, but somehow I just couldn't find the words, the ideas needed to do so.

Even when I did start this blog, I struggled for a long time to get into the writing zone. Initially there was a lack of time (along with a lack of ability!) So I basically just read a lot of blogs, rather than posting anything in my own.

But somewhere along the line, the more I ventured out into the blogosphere, the more I read each of your blogs, the easier it became to write. Each of you has inspired and motivated me with your words, and now writing has become fun again!!!

Most importantly, I have come to know some terrific people I now consider friends, so in this spirit of friendship, I give all of you this award (I know some of you have already received it, and A, you gave it to me, but so what??? You all deserve it!!!)

A

Agnes

Deeplydip

ISH

Preethi

Reflections

Renu

Thought Warp

(Whew!!! After all this writing, I just don't have the energy to link up all over again!!!)

Awarded Again!!!

On the blog front, last week was really special, as I got not one, not two, but three awards!!! And what made it more special was that they were from people who are totally rocking bloggers themselves - Reflections, Deeplydip and Agnes :)

Reflections and Deeplydip both gave me this Butterfly Award.

Reflections gave this to me for my photoblog, and I will very proudly display it there as well, but I'm going to pass it forward from here itself. So I now give this award to some of the coolest blogs/bloggers I know:

A

Agnes

ISH

Jay

Moi

Smriti

Swats

----------------------------------------

Agnes gave me this award, but I didn't know what it was for, so I Googled it and its about "acknowledging the values that every blogger shows in his/her effort to transmit cultural, ethical, literary and personal values every day." Wow!!! Thanks again, Agnes :)

This now goes ahead to:

Deeplydip
Goofy Mumma
My Space
Reflections
Renu
Thought Warp

The rules for all these awards are pretty simple: put them up on your blogs (giving yourself a pat on the back!), link back to the person who gave it to you and spread the cheer to deserving blogs!!!

Wishful Thinking

Yesterday, one of the news channels ran a story on the kind of gizmos the 26/11 terrorists were carrying, and also on how intensively and extensively they were trained. As I saw the story, I was once again amazed by the tremendous wealth such organizations possessed, and even more amazed by the brains and the management behind such acts of terror.

And then I wondered, wished ......

What if the people who masterminded these acts of destruction put their considerable talent and resources to constructive use? If they invested all those millions wasted in weaponry, into schools and colleges, into creating jobs - honest, legal jobs - so that their youth could have a chance at a decent life, instead of being filled with hate and going down paths that lead only to death?

When I think about it this way, of all the good that could've been done with that much money, that much ability, the sense of loss is staggering!!!

How can these people be so blind, so stupid??? And then to keep saying that they're doing all this for their God ........ what an insult it is to God!!!

Here's a thought: instead of executing innocent people, how about lending a helping hand in whatever way possible? Instead of dying for God, how about living for God???

The Need of the Hour: Responsible Leadership

There used to be this ad on tv a few months ago, I forget for what product. The political drama in the wake of the Bombay siege brought it to mind:

It had this typical Indian politician relaxing on the lawn of his bungalow, surrounded by sycophantic aides and giving an interview to a bunch of reporters about contesting an upcoming election, when a young man comes up to him and starts shooting questions about his qualifications - his education, previous work experience and so on.

The politician is surprised by this line of questioning, wondering how it matters for someone contesting an election, and asks why the youth wants to know all this.

The youth replies that its only natural to ask these questions of anyone applying for a job.

The politician is taken aback: job? What job???

To which the youth calmly states: the job of running this country.

The politician is left stunned.

-----------------------------

Running any country is a job, a monumental job that requires consistent and coordinated efforts at multiple levels. And because it entails the security and welfare of citizens, on which no price can be put, these jobs come with an enormous amount of power and responsibility.

As a management student, one of the earliest lessons we learnt was that authority and responsibility must go hand in hand. If you are entrusted with authority and power over something, you are also responsible to see that the work is carried out.

But in Indian politics, "responsibility" is a dirty word. Our politicians want to win elections, win power, and once that's done, the rest of their term is basically spent in calculating how to hold on to that power for the maximum possible time. But very few accept the responsibility that comes with the power.

Post the attacks, Maharashtra Chief Minister Vilasrao Deshmukh tells the media "If any responsibility falls on me, I have offered to resign." IF any responsibility falls on you???? You're "Chief Minister" of a state that has suffered the country's most brutal terrorist attack and you still have to wonder if any responsibility falls on you???

Deshmukh's on his way out, and good riddance!!! The lobbying to be his successor has been going on for a while and a new Chief should be named any moment now.

But it really doesn't matter who the new person is, all that will count is what he does with his power. Will he use it responsibly, promptly and unswervingly to get answers? To crack down harshly on the forces of terror? To put measures into place that ensure we're never this vulnerable again?

We are a nation that abounds with politicians, but is starved of leaders. And that really is the need in these extraordinary times, not destructive politics where people's actions are constantly geared towards maintaining power, but constructive leadership at all levels of government, where people put aside egos and personal ambition to work, actually work, for the betterment of the nation.

26-27/11

Repeatedly. Relentlessly. Ruthlessly.
That's how they work. That's how they attack.
For what?
Money? Power? Revenge? Religion?
No excuse justifies this kind of coldbloodedness.
I feel wrung-out, and I'm only watching it on tv.
What of those right in the middle of this nightmare?
What of their frantic loved ones?
What of those bravehearts risking everything to end this?
Nearly 20 hours now ....... how much longer?
Life will limp back to normalcy.
But how 'normal' will it really be?
We think we live in a free country,
but as long as terror goes unpunished,
we all remain hostages to that bit of fear.
May there be justice at the end of this madness.

Life Aborted

You know how you see / hear / read certain things and they kind of linger in your mind for a while? Give off vibes and feelings that you can't shake off? Sometimes make an impact so deep that you know you'll never forget them?

Fellow blogger My Space's powerfully written, powerfully moving short story is one of those reads giving me a feeling that I haven't been able to shake off, especially since it relates to one of those things that I cannot forget.

I was in the ninth standard, close to 14 years old, when one day the entire batch of us were taken to our school auditorium. It was for yet another "awareness" talk, where a group of doctors and other trained professionals lectured us on menstruation, sex, pregnancy and other issues girls on the verge of womanhood needed to know.

We entered the auditorium and took our seats, chattering away merrily like most young girls. Our headmistress introduced the main speaker of the day, a middle-aged male doctor. All I remember of him today is that he was tall and wore glasses. He said that the session would consist of him giving a talk, us watching a short film, followed by some q & a time and the subject of the day was abortion.

He got started on the talk, and for the most part, we were quiet, although softly whispered conversations and gossip, hushed jokes and giggles, passing of notes and comments continued throughout the audience.

Then he played the film. And we all slowly shut up ...... stunned into silence. A few minutes in and some of the girls closed their eyes or put their heads down, simply unable to take any more. I watched, and kept watching even as tears burned my throat and I felt as if something were shredding my stomach to pieces.

Time has erased many of the details of the film and of the rest of the session, but what imprinted itself in my mind were the images: little bodies that had human form but no features, twitching in agony, and the most horrific of them all ...... the tiny foetus that couldn't have been bigger than my palm, lying bloodied, battered and broken.

I don't write this to gross anyone out; this is what I saw, what has stayed with me ever since and what flashes through my mind every time I see / hear / read the word 'abortion'. For me, those images reduce the whole debate on the subject to just one thing: abortion is murder.

For those who've simply been careless, or for whom a pregnancy at the time is "not convenient", or for whom, as in My Space's story, having a son is most important - you commit the cruelest sort of murder because the life you decide to take is life at its purest, most innocent and most helpless stage.

And yet, the matter isn't black and white when you consider cases where the health of the mother and/or baby is at risk, or in the worst possible scenario - where a rape victim gets pregnant. It is an unimaginably traumatic choice to make, but a choice that nevertheless must be made.

How do you decide what is right in such situations? As strongly as I feel on the subject, I have no answer here.

------------------

P.S.: November 2nd is celebrated as All Souls' Day. The Catholic Church observes a special Mass on this day to remember and pray for the souls of all the departed that they might rest in peace. On this All Souls' Day mass, the priest also prayed for the souls of aborted children. It never occurred to me to do so before, but its not something I'll forget now.

Be My Guest!

I have always loved having people around; not strangers or new acquaintances, but familiar, friendly faces. Coming from a big, but far-flung family, some of my happiest memories are of when aunts and uncles would come back home for a visit.

I used to feel immensely thrilled at the prospect of getting together like in old times with everybody under one roof - either at my home or at my grandparents'. It didn't matter that there were more people than there was room - we would all adjust so that everybody could be conveniently accomodated in the limited space.

Then there was one of the best parts: the food!!! We are totally and completely a food-loving family, so over and above the sustenance aspect, food is a vital part of all our lives. My mother being a fantastic cook, great food on the table was a daily occurrence in our house ...... and it only got better when we had guests.

Whether the guests were over just for a meal, or were staying with us for a few days, the "Athithi Devo Bhava" (Sanskrit for "a guest is God") mindset that is the foundation of Indian hospitality, was all-important, with the result that people loved visiting our home, and I loved it even more when they did. The atmosphere would be warm & inviting, the food delicious and plentiful, and my parents - ever the gracious hosts.

Today, I am a homemaker myself. I only felt confident about having guests over 3-4 months into my marriage. Since then, we've had friends and family over for meals quite a few times, though in small groups. We've also had houseguests on three occassions: the first visitors being my mother and my grandmother, followed by my father-in-law and nephew a month later, and finally, my mother-in-law (MIL), who was with us last week.

As a child, I only saw the fun part of having guests, but the older I grew, the more I began to realise how much careful thought and planning went into ensuring that fun. However its only now, having actually been a hostess, that I can truly appreciate just how hard my parents worked to provide that unfailing hospitality time and again.

There were always hands to help: we had maids to handle the cleaning up, we kids would do whatever we were told, and Dad would be right beside Mom, slogging it out to get the food ready.

Dad was and is her right hand, but it was Mom who really was the brains of the whole show. Even in our daily life, it was her foresight and strategies that had our home running smoothly. Earlier, I wrote about our daily food as though it were matter of fact that it would be great. But what I didn't note was the great pains that Mom took to bring out that food, day in and day out, taking into account everyone's tastes and preferences.

And now when I try to do the same for hubby & me & our guests, I am repeatedly amazed by her love for us, her selflessness and her unswerving commitment to her family.

Mom always believed that you could handle anything if you kept things organized and planned things in advance, and it is only now that I really understand the importance of this. Because you may have help, like I did last week with sis-in-law and her sis also coming over to spend time with our MIL, but ultimately its my kitchen, my space, my setup. I need to be the master planner, I need to know what has to be done when and I need to do it all while making everyone feel comfortable and welcome, not only because that's how I was raised, but also because that's how I was received in their homes.

Honestly, I was anxious about how MIL's visit would go, but more than the anxiety was the desire to make her stay as enjoyable as possible, because despite the added work, I do love having people around.

And that I think is the necessary factor underlying great hospitality: the love for hosting guests, along with a spirit of service and the invaluable, combined effort of all the family. Its what creates that almost-tangible sense of warmth and welcome, what makes the difference between homes that you visit because you want to, and those you visit because you have to.

The Making and Breaking of Besan Ka Laddoo

After my last post, some of you had asked about the besan ka laddoo. Well, I gave it a shot last week, feeling very festive with the twinkling lights and sparkling fireworks outside the window. I was quite confident, as the recipe seemed to be very simple: the one I was following said to take 4 cups besan to 1 cup each of ghee and powdered sugar; roast the besan in the ghee till it gives off an aroma, take it off the heat, cool & then mix in the sugar and some powdered cardamom (sliced almonds too if you want them), shape them into balls and voila! Besan laddoos are ready to serve.

It seems as if it should've been a piece of cake, but compared to what happened, cakes are much, much easier! If I were to describe step-by-stupid-step what I did and why I did it, this would be a reaallllly long post. So here's the concise version of the idiot's guide to besan ka laddoo.

It begins with my shock as what seemed to be a lil amount of ghee in the measuring cup suddenly looked like a mini-lake in the pan. I took out a couple of teaspoonfuls, considering we'd already had a lot of rich sweets earlier that week. Needless to say, the mix turned out to be too dry to shape into balls. I wanted to kick myself for that sudden attack of health-consciousitis. (Note to self: if you really want to eat "healthy", don't bother making sweets!)

Anyway, I thought I could still salvage it, something a quick call to mom confirmed - all I had to do was add more ghee. Now you would think since I had taken out only two teaspoonfuls, I would've replaced just that amount. But no, this is the idiot's guide, remember? I picked up the ghee bottle, yeah the whole bottle, and happily went glop, glop, glop ...... and some more glop, glop, glop all over the pan!

So now ....... yeah, you guessed it, the mixture was too wet!!! Usually quite a few types of dough tend to harden as they cool and I fervently hoped that this would too. So as it cooled, I tried forming a ball ....... it didn't exactly stay in a perfect round, but to my relief, at least it didn't break apart like in the first time.

Feeling better, I dropped the misshapen laddoo onto a waiting thali and started work on the next one ....... after which I stopped. This is why:

I had succeeded in making besan ka blobs!!! I stared in sheer disbelief for a few seconds, before my sense of humour caught up with me. I called out to hubby, who came inquiring if the laddoos were ready ...... and burst out laughing when he saw the plate!!!

Well, ultimately I just spread the whole mix onto the thali and even scored criss-cross lines over it, in a final hope that just maybe we could at least have besan burfi. But no, the moment I tried to lift a piece out, it would break apart! The end result was that we had to eat the umm, laddoos / burfi / powder with a spoon! But hey, it tasted exactly right, exactly like its supposed to. Hopefully, next time I'll get the look right too!!! :)

If you're planning to try this out, don't be put off by my experience, because in hindsight, its really not so bad. Just remember to get your measurements right; I don't think the ratios I used were correct, so if you'd like, check out this recipe here (I made pedas using their recipe and that turned out superb!) Also, roast the besan on very low heat (it must cook, but not brown) and oh yes, make sure your sugar is powdered really fine - did I forget to mention the intact sugar crystals in my mixture???

And a last all-important piece of advice: before attempting this recipe, talk it over with someone who's actually made besan ka laddoo - successfully!!!

Lighting Up for Diwali

Yesterday night while coming back home, I was craning my neck out the window to see if I could spot any lights up for Diwali. I could, but only in the zillion-and-one stores we passed along the way, and those don't count, because businesses commercialize everything and create festivals even when there are none.

Closer to home, we passed some of our neighbouring residential buildings, but only one apartment had lights on in their balcony. I was more hopeful as we turned in towards our lane, but to my shock and disappointment, not a single flat had anything special going on.

I think one of the greatest things about India is how we go all out to celebrate our festivals, and after two years away from this festive cheer, I was really looking forward to Diwali because Ganesh Chaturthi and Navratri were pretty low-key here (at least where we stay), as compared to the atmosphere in Bombay. Even though none of these has a religious significance for me, it is nevertheless great fun to celebrate and I always have this warm feeling inside whenever any festival comes around, regardless of religion.

Anyway, earlier this night as we were coming back home, I still looked around, and one or two more places had lights on. At least that was something, I thought. But then we saw our building, and hubs and me both shouted out happily. There were our neighbours' balconies, all dripping with colourful lights!!! In front of the gate, children stood with sparklers and in the distance, we could hear the first of the firecrackers start to go off.

Its now a couple of hours later, and the firecrackers are going strong. My festive spirit has now received a rejuvenating boost and I'm all set to celebrate too! Out will come my candles and tealights! I'm also planning to attempt besan ka laddoo, one of my favourite sweets, which, back in the old days, a friend of my grandmother's used to make and send for me. Wish me luck on that front, and wish all who read this a Very Happy and bright Diwali :)

To Booze or Not To Booze

Yesterday's B'lore Times led with an article on Health Minister Anbumani Ramadoss's current focus - total nation-wide prohibition. The Minister's concern is driven by the increasing number of youth getting addicted to alcohol. I agree that this is becoming a serious problem, but I don't feel that a complete ban on alcohol is the solution.

I grew up in a family where nearly everybody consumed alcohol. Now I don't mean that the elders were constantly talli, but whenever we had get-togethers with family or friends, the booze flowed freely and all adults were welcome to it. Even us children could take a sip from our parents' glasses whenever curiosity got the better of us. And after I turned 18, I was always offered a drink too at our family parties.

There was never any taboo attached to alcohol in our family. Adults were free to drink, but only free to drink as adults. That meant knowing your capacity, and always, always staying within the bounds of decent behaviour. As long as we behaved responsibly, there was no reason not to enjoy and appreciate fine liquor.

But during college and ever since, I've realised that the real reason why many people drink is not to appreciate good liquor, but more to "fit in" and appear "cool". And the more you drink, the "cooler" you're thought to be. I remember girl friends from very conservative families, staying overnight at whichever girl's house was empty on the pretext of group study, while actually it was a booze party. The following day they used to brag about it very excitedly; it didn't matter what they had been drinking, as long as they could boast about drinking.

Today, with binge drinking becoming the latest trend, the situation is even worse. I've seen photos of girls in UK and the US sprawled unconscious in bars and pubs after bingeing. I don't know if its the same in India, but even if it isn't, we've got a far worse trend of people drinking, driving and running others over. While I enjoy the occassional drink, I really don't know what the appeal is in boozing to the extent that you're either just a useless lump, or a total menace to society.

I don't think that drinking in itself is bad, its irresponsible, excessive drinking that's the problem. The point is that anything, consumed excessively is bad for you. Even basic stuff like sugar, salt or oil can be potentially deadly if you have too much of it.

Banning alcohol completely is not going to resolve the issue. All this would do is give the black market a good boost, and further increase the hype around alcohol, making it a bigger deal than it really is.

If you truly wanted to make a difference, the thing to do would be to tackle mindsets about alcohol. Easier said than done, believe me, I know. But ultimately, having proper attitudes is the only thing that helps you make the right choices so that you can have your fun without being a nuisance to anyone else.

Angela's Ashes

I recently read a book called Angela's Ashes by Frank McCourt. Its the author's memoirs of his childhood, and I picked it up because a friend had listed it as her favourite book and also because it had won a Pulitzer.

I was visiting my parents at the time, and had plenty of time to relax and read, so in this situation, it would've usually taken me 2-3 days to finish a book this size, 4 days at the max. I started reading one night after dinner, finished chapter 1 and then picked it up again only a few days later. I finally completed it only about 3 weeks later.

Why? Because the author recollects a childhood so unbelievably miserable, there was just no way I could spend too long with the book at one stretch. Definitely I could not bear the thought of reading it after I had enjoyed my mom's wonderful meals, not when he described the carelessness of his alcoholic father and embittered mother, his and his brothers' painful hunger, the many, many years they spent surviving only on bread and tea, and many more instances of desperate poverty.

His earliest memories are from when he was four, around the time of the Great Depression in America, and they were forced to move back to their native Ireland from the US because of their poverty. That's where things go from bad to worse and even more worse.

Though they have family nearby, they're forced to survive on dole money from the government, most of which the father drinks away. They live in a hellish house, with the street's only toilet right next to their door. The lack of proper clothes, nutrition and Ireland's bitter cold see to it that the author loses two younger siblings before he is five, another baby having already died back in the States. And the problems and tragedies just keep piling on.

But despite such a horrific childhood, the book is not written in a way to gain sympathy. Its just a straightforward narrative that's surprisingly funny at times, penned in such a way that you could almost hear someone narrating it in that typical Irish accent. And I think that, because its tone is never plainitive, or sad or bitter, but just matter-of-fact, is exactly what makes this book so hard-hitting.

We know that children, inspite of their innocence, are sometimes very insightful and see things much more clearly than adults do, and the author was no different. The book reflects that mix of innocence and insight in a way that just tugs on every emotional string.

All through their childhood, whenever their father returned home late at night, drunk, he would wake up the author and his brother and make them sing Irish patriotic songs and promise they would die for the country if the need arose. In school, their Catholic teachers made them promise to die for the faith if the need arose. Father wants them to die for the country, teachers want them to die for the faith, and the child McCourt wonders ..... doesn't anyone want them to live?

There were so many more such instances in the book that make you stop and think. One other thing that especially struck a chord with me was when the children have to live with their maternal aunt because the father takes off and the mother is hospitalized. The aunt is by no means rich, but is definitely better off than the author's family, yet still is a very angry and bitter woman (presumably because she is childless). She takes out all that anger on these children, and young McCourt again wonders, she has enough money for food, electricity in her house, her very own toilet ...... yet, why is she so angry?

This made me sit up and really count my blessings. Many people must be doing it, I'm sure, yet I don't think we remember to be grateful for things like having electricity, or food, or our own bathrooms, or even health, the fact that we have all our senses in working order, as blessings. We are so used to them, we tend to take them all for granted, and that's why I'm glad I picked this book up.

Reading it was certainly not easy, but it's worth it because it makes you realise how much you really have been blessed with, increases your level of awareness towards the poor and reinforces that we have a moral duty to help, whether it is by giving your time, effort or money.

Edit: would like to add running water to my list of taken-for-granted blessings ...... we didn't have water for a few hours yesterday, and it was hell.