Elephants & Butterflies: Our Onam Recap

Onam pookalam at Cochin Airport

I love celebrations and parties, and all the work that goes into making them successful. It can get a bit stressful at times, but it is also bunches of fun. These days, I find myself enjoying the process more because Kris is allowed to be more involved. Though it is sometimes irritating when your child wants to "help", on the whole, I love it when Kris participates. Viewing the world through her eyes is both entertaining and enlightening. She brings in ideas and opinions that never cease to amuse and amaze. So I'm incredibly grateful to God for the past few weeks and all the experiences we've had.

Exactly six years ago, I blogged about my first Onam in Kerala. How time flies, and how it changes! This Onam was not only the first we've celebrated since Kris was born, we were also back in Kerala for another all-out celebration with my in-laws.

The day before Onam, we visited a nearby temple to view some of the festivities. It also happened to be a beautiful, moonlit evening. In addition to the visual treat, there is also traditional music that is played. Kris was initially overwhelmed, as it is unlike anything she's seen (or heard!) before.

She was most keen on seeing the elephants, but once there, she didn't want to get too close to them. So we watched the mahouts standing on the backs of the elephants and go through elaborate rituals of displaying and changing the umbrellas they're holding. A new word we both learned from my husband is "nettipattam" - the golden headdress all the elephants are wearing. She's now so fascinated with them, she wanted to buy a nettipattam when we spotted one at an airport shop!

Here we are on Onam morning, making the pookalam (floral floor decoration) at the entrance to our home. This was one of the things I was most excited about sharing with Kris. I had showed her pictures of different pookalam patterns before we left for Kerala so she'd have some idea of what it involved. I left the choice of design up to her, and she decided on a butterfly. A very apt choice for my in-laws home, as my mother-in-law runs a beauty parlour called Butterflies :)

This time, it was just my husband, Kris & myself who worked on the pookalam, as the rest of the family were getting ready to gather at my sister-in-law's home, where the Onam sadya (banquet) was to be held. I think this was a great learning experience for Kris as you need considerable patience to complete a pookalam, right from plucking the petals to filling in the design and then tidying up.

The sadya is the traditional feast eaten on Onam and other important occasions in Kerala. It consists of a variety of pure vegetarian dishes served with rice. (Please excuse the poor quality, the pics were all hurriedly clicked on our phones). The most interesting feature of course, is that it's eaten off a banana leaf. It is also customary to sit cross-legged on the floor, but comfort and convenience came first for us, so we served the meal at the dining table :) When I was growing up, my mother and maternal grandmother always got together to prepare the usual Onam fare, and the big thrill for my sister and me was to eat from the banana leaf. So I'm really happy that Kris got a chance to experience this as well.

Then post-lunch came the photo session. Most of the photos were clicked around the pookalam my niece made. All the women had dressed up in Kerala's signature sari - white/cream with the traditional golden border called kasavu. For me, this was one of the best parts of our trip, getting all dressed up in Indian finery! Kris too loved her pavada, a blouse and full-length skirt. While her cousin sisters sported different colours, I got Kris a set in the typical Kerala kasavu style that she's now looking forward to taking to school. That's yet another thing I'm grateful for, that my daughter shares my love for dressing up! I'm signing off this post with a photo that my little girl took of me and her aunts (I'm on the left). Nope, I didn't crop too much off this; it was a headless shot to begin with, as in her words, she was trying to get the pookalam in the shot as well :)

An Easter Education

"Is Easter the Easter bunny's birthday?" went the innocent question from my daughter Kris last year. Even as I laughed and pulled her in for a cuddle, I began wondering how I would tackle this. I grew up in a country where Easter was not a national celebration; it was significant only to the Christian community and we all knew that the central figure in the Easter story is Jesus (the bunny was way low-profile back then). Kris is growing up in an environment where all the major Christian festivals may be national holidays, but where Jesus is far removed from the mainstream celebrations and associated imagery. Santa becomes the star at Christmas, and Easter is the bunny's time in the limelight.

So it's quite understandable that Kris thought Easter revolved around the bunny. Of course I wanted to set her straight, but how do you explain death and resurrection to a three-year old and not leave her scared, or scarred? At the time, I simply told her that Easter was about Jesus, who was 'taken away' by the 'bad people', but that He managed to come back and save everybody, and that is why we celebrate Easter.

Kris putting the marzipan crosses on Hot Cross Bun Cookies

Don't get me wrong, I'm not against Santa or the bunny. I think they add a fun element to these celebrations and I happily share Kris's excitement in the Easter egg hunts and hat parades. We enjoy making Easter bonnets and bunny masks and as you can see here, we've been busy baking to share treats with our friends. But at the same time, I feel it's essential to remember what's really at the heart of this celebration, and more importantly, to take the time to help my child understand that too.

Easter sugar cookies. Left: bunny-scape. Top right: Easter egg cookies. Bottom right: Easter gift basket.

Kris is now a year older, and wiser (sort of :D). Because of tv and her peers, she now has words like 'dead' and 'kill' in her vocabulary, which gave me room to be more specific about the Easter story this year. We've been going through her kiddy Bibles, reading the stories from them, and this has led to some memorable conversations. I will always cherish the priceless expressions that race across her face as she tries to absorb it all.

Our talks have also had another unexpected effect: in teaching Kris, I am learning afresh too. In searching for words to explain our faith in its simplest terms, I found myself reconnecting with it more profoundly than I ever have before. And it feels like I'm discovering the beauty of it all over again, which when you think about it, is exactly what this period should achieve.

Easter Sunday then dawned and we had a quiet morning at home. I was feeling rested and renewed. We video-chatted with my family and when my mother asked Kris why we were celebrating, she said it was because Jesus died and came back to save us.  I lit up with her answer .... and then deflated a moment later when she said, "but the bunny is the bigger part about Easter." {sigh}.

It's going to take quite a few Easters before she really gets it. I know it's a slow and lifelong process. Her questions haven't abated in the week since, and I'm encouraged that she wants to keep reading from her Bible, instead of me making her do it. Of all the things we do together, I especially treasure the time we've spent discussing Jesus over the past few weeks. I only hope I'm able to sustain her interest, and help her budding faith flourish. 
 

An incredibly fragile royal icing filigree cross atop a simple vanilla cake with cream cheese frosting & toasted almonds.

New Year, New Attitude

At the Christmas Mass I attended this year, or rather, last year, the sermon was delivered by a visiting priest from Indonesia. He introduced himself, very humbly, as a "baby priest" and wanted to give a sermon that was "short, but meaningful".

He began with a story from his village back home, where many people raised cows for a living. During summers, the grazing grass would turn unappetizingly dry and seeing this, the cows wouldn't feed. The people therefore developed an amusingly ingenious solution: they made green spectacles and placed them over the cows' eyes! The cows' world, especially the grass, then seemed invitingly green and fresh, and they would continue to feed as usual. The reality, the priest said, was dry grass, but with the green spectacles, the people (and the cows!) found a way to deal with it.

The priest then said that compared to his past visits to India, he'd observed something different this time: that the people seemed to be less enthusiastic about Christmas, that the spirit of the festival was somewhat subdued here. He agreed that it was only natural, given the attacks against Christians in many parts of the country, and the terrorist strike in Bombay. But Christmas, he said, is at its heart, a festival of hope and joy, that God loved the world so much that He sent His Son to live as a human.

The priest concluded by saying that we should not get so overwhelmed by the negativity in our world that we completely forget the positives; the reality of our world undeniably has a lot that's wrong, but by putting on 'spectacles' of optimism and hope, we can find a way to deal with the problems our societies face.

For me, this was a very fitting and much-needed Christmas message, something that I want to take along into the new year too. With all that goes on around us, I think its easy to become depressed and/or cynical ...... but that's NOT how I want to live. I want to be optimistic, I want to feel hopeful and joyful.

I don't mean that I'll be skipping along merrily, believing problems will just disappear on their own, but in the sense that I won't let those problems keep me down and keep me from doing my duty. I won't forget that though there is a lot that's regrettable in our world, there is a lot to be thankful for as well .......

...... (and now, very strangely, the songs running through my head are a mix of Gloria Gaynor's I Will Survive and Chumbawamba's Tubthumping!!!) Must be the lack of sleep ...... we brought in the new year the way I like it best - attended Mass and then had a not-so-quiet dinner with family.

Here's wishing you all a TERRIFIC NEW YEAR - Keep the optimism, keep the faith!

Christmas Wishes!!!

So I'm sitting here right now with a slight backache, but I don't care coz I got it in a great way ...... we've been desperately decking up my in-laws place!!! I'm just thrilled I got to decorate more than one house this year.

And I'm absolutely over-the-moon THRILLED about my hair!!!! My sometimes-curly, sometimes-wavy, always-frizzy mane has been ironed into submission and is now swinging straight and shiny!!!

(I know its only going to last till the next wash, but oh, its such a treat for me!!!!)

That's all the time I have for this post ..... so here's wishing everyone who reads this a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

Back in the Saddle!

What an incredibly busy weekend its been! But in the happiest way possible!!!

I had been looking forward so eagerly to this Christmas, but recent events had considerably crushed that Christmas spirit and try as I might, I just couldn't make myself feel that bubbly joy I usually carry around this time of year.

But once I was past that initial gloom, I realised again how special this Christmas is: its our first together, in our first home. And then I was determined to do my best to make it a good one.

First, we (or rather I!) wrote out our Christmas cards. I have always loved the whole process of buying/making cards, bringing out the glittering ink pens to write out people's names and even sticking stamps on the envelopes! Although if I'd mentioned that last part to hubby, I'm sure he'd have insisted I go to the post office too!

Second, we put up our tree and started decorating it, carols playing in the background (with the occassional rock song in between ...... hubby was the DJ after all :-D). I happily started hanging up ornaments and draping ropes of bells and tinsel all around, and then hubby came in with the lights. Lessons learnt: always, always put the lights in first!

I wanted some of the lights placed inside, closer to the trunk, and those wires got tangled with the tinsel and blocked the ornaments till we had one twisted mess, so ultimately we had to take everything off and start all over again. But even when it was done, I couldn't help going back and adjusting some of the ornaments, redraping the tinsel, and the image in my head, strangely, is that of the mother of a bride - fussing away till the beloved daughter looks just so!!!

Then we moved on to our wreath and some other little bits and bobs. Hubby wanted to get a hook from which to hang our wreath because its a bit heavy, but I felt that just tape would do, and after much, umm, discussing and debating, we went with my solution.

Somehow, over the past few months, we've ended up with a selection of tapes that would rival that of any stationery store: so we have double-sided tape, clear double-sided tape, heavy duty mounting double sided tape, duct tape and the regular old Scotch cellotape. Using a complex combination of these, hubby at last got our wreath fixed firm (I hope!)

We finished up with the rest of the stuff that needed to be stuck, and then, in the middle of the mess that was our living room, we stood arm in arm, grinning ear to ear, surveying our handiwork, finally feeling Christmassy!!!

Now carrying that optimism on to Phase 2. In case you wondered what the title of this post means, well, I'm absolutely determined to make some sweets for Christmas and I plan to start the first one - coconut burfi - today. This time around, I will make sure I have a lot of time, I will measure my ingredients correctly (and then stick to them!), and I will definitely, totally follow the instructions to the letter ....... (deep, calming breaths) ......

The Making and Breaking of Besan Ka Laddoo

After my last post, some of you had asked about the besan ka laddoo. Well, I gave it a shot last week, feeling very festive with the twinkling lights and sparkling fireworks outside the window. I was quite confident, as the recipe seemed to be very simple: the one I was following said to take 4 cups besan to 1 cup each of ghee and powdered sugar; roast the besan in the ghee till it gives off an aroma, take it off the heat, cool & then mix in the sugar and some powdered cardamom (sliced almonds too if you want them), shape them into balls and voila! Besan laddoos are ready to serve.

It seems as if it should've been a piece of cake, but compared to what happened, cakes are much, much easier! If I were to describe step-by-stupid-step what I did and why I did it, this would be a reaallllly long post. So here's the concise version of the idiot's guide to besan ka laddoo.

It begins with my shock as what seemed to be a lil amount of ghee in the measuring cup suddenly looked like a mini-lake in the pan. I took out a couple of teaspoonfuls, considering we'd already had a lot of rich sweets earlier that week. Needless to say, the mix turned out to be too dry to shape into balls. I wanted to kick myself for that sudden attack of health-consciousitis. (Note to self: if you really want to eat "healthy", don't bother making sweets!)

Anyway, I thought I could still salvage it, something a quick call to mom confirmed - all I had to do was add more ghee. Now you would think since I had taken out only two teaspoonfuls, I would've replaced just that amount. But no, this is the idiot's guide, remember? I picked up the ghee bottle, yeah the whole bottle, and happily went glop, glop, glop ...... and some more glop, glop, glop all over the pan!

So now ....... yeah, you guessed it, the mixture was too wet!!! Usually quite a few types of dough tend to harden as they cool and I fervently hoped that this would too. So as it cooled, I tried forming a ball ....... it didn't exactly stay in a perfect round, but to my relief, at least it didn't break apart like in the first time.

Feeling better, I dropped the misshapen laddoo onto a waiting thali and started work on the next one ....... after which I stopped. This is why:

I had succeeded in making besan ka blobs!!! I stared in sheer disbelief for a few seconds, before my sense of humour caught up with me. I called out to hubby, who came inquiring if the laddoos were ready ...... and burst out laughing when he saw the plate!!!

Well, ultimately I just spread the whole mix onto the thali and even scored criss-cross lines over it, in a final hope that just maybe we could at least have besan burfi. But no, the moment I tried to lift a piece out, it would break apart! The end result was that we had to eat the umm, laddoos / burfi / powder with a spoon! But hey, it tasted exactly right, exactly like its supposed to. Hopefully, next time I'll get the look right too!!! :)

If you're planning to try this out, don't be put off by my experience, because in hindsight, its really not so bad. Just remember to get your measurements right; I don't think the ratios I used were correct, so if you'd like, check out this recipe here (I made pedas using their recipe and that turned out superb!) Also, roast the besan on very low heat (it must cook, but not brown) and oh yes, make sure your sugar is powdered really fine - did I forget to mention the intact sugar crystals in my mixture???

And a last all-important piece of advice: before attempting this recipe, talk it over with someone who's actually made besan ka laddoo - successfully!!!

Lighting Up for Diwali

Yesterday night while coming back home, I was craning my neck out the window to see if I could spot any lights up for Diwali. I could, but only in the zillion-and-one stores we passed along the way, and those don't count, because businesses commercialize everything and create festivals even when there are none.

Closer to home, we passed some of our neighbouring residential buildings, but only one apartment had lights on in their balcony. I was more hopeful as we turned in towards our lane, but to my shock and disappointment, not a single flat had anything special going on.

I think one of the greatest things about India is how we go all out to celebrate our festivals, and after two years away from this festive cheer, I was really looking forward to Diwali because Ganesh Chaturthi and Navratri were pretty low-key here (at least where we stay), as compared to the atmosphere in Bombay. Even though none of these has a religious significance for me, it is nevertheless great fun to celebrate and I always have this warm feeling inside whenever any festival comes around, regardless of religion.

Anyway, earlier this night as we were coming back home, I still looked around, and one or two more places had lights on. At least that was something, I thought. But then we saw our building, and hubs and me both shouted out happily. There were our neighbours' balconies, all dripping with colourful lights!!! In front of the gate, children stood with sparklers and in the distance, we could hear the first of the firecrackers start to go off.

Its now a couple of hours later, and the firecrackers are going strong. My festive spirit has now received a rejuvenating boost and I'm all set to celebrate too! Out will come my candles and tealights! I'm also planning to attempt besan ka laddoo, one of my favourite sweets, which, back in the old days, a friend of my grandmother's used to make and send for me. Wish me luck on that front, and wish all who read this a Very Happy and bright Diwali :)

Onam in Pictures

Being Christians, the festival of Onam is not one of religious significance for us, but definitely of cultural importance from the Keralite perspective. This year was the first time I've celebrated the festival in the land of its origin, and since the whole family on hubby's side was together, we went all-out to make it memorable.


Our humble first-time effort at making the traditional pookalam (flower carpet) in front of the house, a totally family affair with hubby & me drawing the main outlines and everyone else involved in plucking petals and carefully filling in the design. The second pic has a fork in the corner ..... our "sophisticated" pookalam shaping tool :D

Our Onam sadya (meal) served traditionally in the banana leaf.

A row of elephants at a nearby temple; there was to be a major procession later in the evening, but the rain decided otherwise. Fortunately, it let up enough for a fireworks display later that night. Unfortunately, my night-time photography skills aren't worth mentioning, forget about blogging :), so that's pretty much it for this post.

G'bye Christmas Tree

This morning we took down our Christmas tree.....about two months later than most people (or maybe nearly everyone) did. Why? Because I wanted to have at least one birthday with the Christmas tree around. So I turned another year older a few days ago, baked a sexy chocolate cake, and had photos clicked of me hugging the tree.

I guess the basic reason why I wanted the tree to remain stems from sibling rivalry. My sis was born two days before Christmas, so she's always had the tree during her birthday. It wouldn't have been practical to leave the tree up that long in Bombay. But here..... central air-conditioning = relatively dust-free environment = no worries about the tree getting messed up = Shalom can have the Christmas tree till her birthday!

Sweet!!!

There's been a frenzy of activity in my kitchen over the past few days....as there usually is this time of year. Our mix of Christmas sweets includes the best of the west & east. From cookies and toffees to laddoos and burfis, we've been making them all. But it's the desi ones that really fascinated me this time.

As I stood, relentlessly stirring one mix after another (and giving my right arm a helluva workout!), I started thinking about how these sweets evolved. The same basic ingredients in varying proportions, heated to different temperatures, stirred or beaten for different durations with varying strength, produce results so distinct in taste, texture and firmness. These aren't quick-fix, all-in-one-go recipes, but time-consuming and painstaking labours of love that call for a great deal of precision: heat it too fast or too long, beat it too less or too much and you have a disaster on your hands (as we learnt the hard way!!).

I've always been a sweet addict. I'd savour every bite, but I'd never thought about the process that creates these luscious sweets. Having expended considerable energy in that process this past week, I have a newfound respect for all sweet-makers. Hats off to all those countless people down the centuries who've experimented with the....chemistry, I suppose, of these sweets and helped further these delectable traditions.

Oh Diya!

Today I spent my first Diwali in this country. Tried to recreate the festive spirit at home...lit plenty of diyas and candles. But though they totally make a place come alive with their glowing warmth, can't say it was really the same as what I've been used to all these years.

It isn't about the firecrackers, or how festive everything looks, or about the awesome sweets, or that you get a couple of days holiday. It's about the people. Now that I'm here in this strange new country, I realise how completely festivals are about the people in our lives. Family and friends meeting, sharing, laughing together. Even strangers acknowledging each other with a passing "Happy Diwali". Took all of it for granted when I had it. But no more.

So as I light still more diyas, I'll say a prayer for all the special people in my life and hope this season ushers in light and warmth in all our lives.